Impelled

“What is a poet? To whom does he address himself? And what language is to be expected from him? He is a man speaking to men; a man, it is true, endued with more lively sensibility, more enthusiasm and tenderness, who has a greater knowledge of human nature, and a more comprehensive soul than one supposed to be common among mankind; a man pleased with his own passions and volitions, and who rejoices more than other men in the spirit of life that is in him; delighting to contemplate similar volitions and passions as manifested in the goings-on of the universe, and habitually impelled to create them where he does not find them."

-William Wordsworth

This quote is what I am about. The enthusiasm and tenderness, the uncommonness, and the rejoicing are what I identify most with. But also the being impelled. "Impelled" connotates that something urges me. "Habitually impelled to create them where [s]he does not find them," as in: I am continually driven to bring to light what is in darkness. I, a disobedient speck of dust, cannot presume to know the Why to my existence. Only live to the fullest. Which means deliberately, humbly, purposely.

I could go on to define those traits, and the glorious ruins they have become. A trait I consider a flaw is my perfectionism. More specifically my black-and-white, all-or-nothing perfectionism. I feel a need to control my life, and sometimes that seeps into controlling others. My perfectionism, however, is vain striving after joy. Because we cannot capture it or earn it--it can only be given.

A good thespian is self-amused. Often, though, it is that self-amusement that amuses the audience. As the movie Into the Wild concludes: real joy is only shared. If you were to make a list of your fondest memories, would they not include companions? My daily quest to create, then, purposes to foster community and relationships. To make connections with others so that together we can revel in the beautiful diversity and unity of our lives, as well as comfort and encourage one another in the adversity and bittersweetness of those same lives

So. Here am I. A rebellious, self-amused, perfectionist poet, finding and cultivating beauty where it is easily overlooked. Impelled to create.

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"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 27:17

I will here cite my influences once for all:

• Personal heroes: my family
• L'Abri speakers and workers
• Innumerable writers, poets, and playwrights
• Bible study leaders and teachers
• The Word. Sola scriptura. God's Revelation.