My Norabel, my star-flower Elanorelle Iowa-born Sunday's child blue-eyed copy-kitten sweetheart will be two entire years a month from today. The past week was brimming. Helping with paperwork meetings for detasseling, visiting cousins during tornado and lightning storms, and taking a drive with my beloved on country roads at dusk by firefly-lit fields and peering in the windows of an old house dreaming about if we bought it and Norah biking the mile into town, population: 232. Driving on midwestern roads is bliss. Water over the roads, mammatus clouds, more natural beauty is everywhere, even if it is husbanded and engineered by mankind.
...Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not...
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Notes From a Little Head During a Big Storm
We experienced our first tornado sirens tonight. As a storm system crossed southern Minnesota, many twisters touched earth. One was reported to be a half-mile wide.
The five of us (plus dog) settled into the unfinished basement to wait it out. All of us were a little excited and a little annoyed by the interruption. We pulled our chairs into a semi-circle amid a few cobwebs and a box or two of christmas decorations. There was a laptop nearby to keep tabs on the weather. Norah, in her pajamas on Nana's lap, folded her hands and asked inquisitively, "Pray?"
We would have laughed at her sobriety if it weren't for the sirens outside. And the wind and the lightning. So we did. We prayed together in the basement until it was safe to come out.
The five of us (plus dog) settled into the unfinished basement to wait it out. All of us were a little excited and a little annoyed by the interruption. We pulled our chairs into a semi-circle amid a few cobwebs and a box or two of christmas decorations. There was a laptop nearby to keep tabs on the weather. Norah, in her pajamas on Nana's lap, folded her hands and asked inquisitively, "Pray?"
We would have laughed at her sobriety if it weren't for the sirens outside. And the wind and the lightning. So we did. We prayed together in the basement until it was safe to come out.
Steadfastness
A week ago I planted kernels of corn in black soil freshly turned. It rained all weekend. Yesterday, my little seedlings were an inch high! So proud of the little darlings.
Three summers ago Brett gave me a ring. It takes a little longer than a weekend of rain to see the product of our labor to build a marriage that honors the One Who gave His life for His bride. I hope upon hope that our relationship is a tiny little sprout that is maturing each day by God's grace.
In Created to Be His Help Meet Debi Pearl writes that most men tend to be dominant in one of three traits that reflect God's character: Commanders, Visionaries, or Steady men. My Brett is the latter.
"When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him."
Hit home much? She goes on to give me many solid reasons to appreciate his steadiness.
...He is like deep, deep water
...His strength is exercised as he quietly assumes responsibility that other usually shirk
...His steadfastness is sure, his loyalty is strong
...His children grow up to highly respect their gentle-speaking dad.
...His still, quiet presence brings peace. He does not focus on the eternal picture, nor is he looking through a microscope, but he does respect both views as important. His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is.
"If you didn't attempt to change him into something other than what God created him to be, he would not cause you any grief."
The women in our small group studied Helper By Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick, and I am convicted by the way she explains what it means to be a helpmate.
"Eve’s punishment proves that God looked upon her as equal with Adam in His image. She was just as responsible to know and obey the Law as he was, and she was equally accountable for her actions. She wouldn’t be allowed to skirt her obligation with a flippant, "It’s my husband’s fault. If he had been a better husband, I would have been a better wife. ""
My MIL recommended Love & Respect. Then I heard it mentioned again in a friend’s wedding ceremony, so I picked it up and was so glad I did. Emerson Eggerich writes:
"The apostle Peter wrote to wives that if any husband were disobedient to God’s Word, "they may be word without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior" (1 Peter 3:1-2). Peter is definitely talking about unconditional respect. The husbands he mentions are either carnal Christians or unbelievers who are disobedient to the Word - that is, to Jesus Christ. God is not pleased with a man like this, and such a man does not "deserve" his wife’s respect. But Peter is not calling on wives to feel respect; he is commanding them to show respectful behavior. This is not about the husband deserving respect; it is about the wife being willing to treat her husband respectfully without condition. To say the least, doing something when you don’t really feel you want to do it is counterintuitive. Therefore, this passage must be acted upon in faith."
I am so thankful I am being reminded of these things continually. God has given me every resource I need, and though I deny, accuse, and rebel, He is longsuffering. And so, praise God, is my husband.
Three summers ago Brett gave me a ring. It takes a little longer than a weekend of rain to see the product of our labor to build a marriage that honors the One Who gave His life for His bride. I hope upon hope that our relationship is a tiny little sprout that is maturing each day by God's grace.
In Created to Be His Help Meet Debi Pearl writes that most men tend to be dominant in one of three traits that reflect God's character: Commanders, Visionaries, or Steady men. My Brett is the latter.
"When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him."
Hit home much? She goes on to give me many solid reasons to appreciate his steadiness.
...He is like deep, deep water
...His strength is exercised as he quietly assumes responsibility that other usually shirk
...His steadfastness is sure, his loyalty is strong
...His children grow up to highly respect their gentle-speaking dad.
...His still, quiet presence brings peace. He does not focus on the eternal picture, nor is he looking through a microscope, but he does respect both views as important. His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is.
"If you didn't attempt to change him into something other than what God created him to be, he would not cause you any grief."
The women in our small group studied Helper By Design by Elyse Fitzpatrick, and I am convicted by the way she explains what it means to be a helpmate.
"Eve’s punishment proves that God looked upon her as equal with Adam in His image. She was just as responsible to know and obey the Law as he was, and she was equally accountable for her actions. She wouldn’t be allowed to skirt her obligation with a flippant, "It’s my husband’s fault. If he had been a better husband, I would have been a better wife. ""
My MIL recommended Love & Respect. Then I heard it mentioned again in a friend’s wedding ceremony, so I picked it up and was so glad I did. Emerson Eggerich writes:
"The apostle Peter wrote to wives that if any husband were disobedient to God’s Word, "they may be word without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior" (1 Peter 3:1-2). Peter is definitely talking about unconditional respect. The husbands he mentions are either carnal Christians or unbelievers who are disobedient to the Word - that is, to Jesus Christ. God is not pleased with a man like this, and such a man does not "deserve" his wife’s respect. But Peter is not calling on wives to feel respect; he is commanding them to show respectful behavior. This is not about the husband deserving respect; it is about the wife being willing to treat her husband respectfully without condition. To say the least, doing something when you don’t really feel you want to do it is counterintuitive. Therefore, this passage must be acted upon in faith."
I am so thankful I am being reminded of these things continually. God has given me every resource I need, and though I deny, accuse, and rebel, He is longsuffering. And so, praise God, is my husband.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Little House on the Prairie
I just finished playing Loaded Questions with my husband and parents-in-law. One of my favorite questions was What book has changed your life? [besides the bible] Other good questions included What is your favorite thing to do with snow? and What is you favorite movie line? The movie line was a reversal on Brett, so we all had to guess what his favorite lines were and Andrea put "This is my deal." Brian put "If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need any aftershave now would I?" I guessed "Ace of spades." Then we all just started quoting The Princess Bride randomly. Brett cracked up, because we all really did guess his top favorites.
Back on track. I can think of four books besides the bible that have had a profound impact in my life: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books, Dinotopia, and Lord of the Rings. There are so many more, but these I return to constantly, and I could read them over and over and over again. They are almost like the four walls of my literary soul.
I am still looking for a finite thesis for this blog. Should I muse over theology and literature and art? Should I relate the smallest simplest moments of my day? Should I be passionate or let my words be select and few? I may well babble and then delete it the next day. I wish I would only write profound things, but I know that will not be so. I hope I can stumble across something worth scribbling about once in a while. I'd like to provoke you.
This week I have felt much, mostly good things. Today it rained and I made jam and ate waffles. Yesterday I drove on a gravel road and picked strawberries and planted a little garden - and Brett interview for a better job, then was offered the job, then accepted it! I am amazed at how God provides for the least of these. I was looking for a toddler bed for a specific price and Katri found exactly what I had hoped for, and I mentioned buying canning jars for making jam and Brenda had a box waiting for me. These details convince me that I am right where I should be, and that makes me so happy. Maybe we had two hard years so that we would appreciate this good time, and maybe it was so that we would learn from our mistakes, and a hundred other reasons. I will rejoice and be glad, for this is the day that the Lord has made.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Memorial Day
So we moved! No more sacrificing our marriage for our daughter's sake. No more sacrificing our family for a career in theatre arts. I don't think our goals have changed at all... merely the scenery along the way. What matters more: the journey or the destination? Trick question. Both are of great value. I still hope Brett will be a Technical Director one day, even just at a high school with next-to-nothing pay, or maybe he will have a career in carpentry and do theatre on the side. We just won't sacrifice time with each other to achieve it.
Living in Maryland taught us much. Both of us working full time just to pay the rent taught us to appreciate every moment of time together. Living in the city confirmed our hearts' desires to dwell away from both urban and suburban communities. Being half a continent away from our folks (opposite coasts from mine) truly forced us to leave and cleave, and to find encouragement and support in the body of Christ and necessarily depend on God alone as our Anchor.
For us, being in the midwest feels right. I will always appreciate what living in the DC-Baltimore area taught us, but I will never regret leaving it. Places have always had an affect on me. The desert - Bakersfield - represented dry land, brown sky, constant summer. I also wanted to escape the brokenness of relationship - when my parents were seperated for five years. But God was drawing me to my calling (Genesis 50:20). England represented history and fantasy, a place very green and very rainy, almost too good to consider home. Iowa was where I was happiest, always. It was there I met Brett, who would become my best friend, and there our daughter was born by God's decree, and I would have it no other way!
And what is my calling? Something I am ever discovering. (Stay tuned!)
I relate well to Almanzo and Laura Wilder, whose first four years of marriage were full of hardship and sorrow, and whose daughter was also named after a flower. Let me state for the record that I wish to always be poor but always make ends meet. I am happiest working at home. I hope to have a leaky, ramshackle, Boxcar-Children-meets-It's-A-Wonderful-Life house someday, but the Lord is my Shepherd and as long as I am with Brett my cup overfloweth.
At the end of two years I was just beginning to uncover two of my greatest vices: impatience and discontent. Only from a place of honesty and humility can I learn to walk according to my calling - helpmate, steward, disciple. I want to keep this blog to challenge myself in discipline, and to write more than a facebook status to my community and kin.
Let me share Memorial Day with you: The first part was spent in Owatonna Minnesota, my husband's hometown, where our Norah watched her first parade and the marching band and horses held her attention fast, and our morning concluded with a potluck with Nana and Tatanka. Then Norah and I drove down to Rolfe Iowa, my father's hometown, to see Grandma Ives, aunts, uncle, cousins, and second cousins. Swimming, a movie, and singing around a bonfire. A brilliant sunset on the plains and night sky brimming with stars.
Reading Till We Have Faces for what must be the third or fourth time: "Who can feel ugly when the heart meets delight?" My heart has met delight. Here. Now.
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