I did not sell anything, but I highly enjoyed having my first booth at farmer's market this morning. Andrea and I wove baskets and I prettified bulletin boards with brightly colored fabric scraps and paint. I really don't care if no one ever buys anything, I am going to do it as often as possible. I love being surrounded and inspired by my fellow cultivators and craftsmen, the spontaneous and casual conversations that swirl together with the live music, and all the delightful smells. Norah joined us and played in the fountain until we dragged her away.
Norah plays in the fountain by the bandshell - photo by AndreaWith Brett gone working at Dominoes, Norah and I went about our play for the afternoon. PB&J for lunch. "Brooming" up our crumbs afterword. Norah played a while with her new airplanes "Did we get this at the garage sale? We DID get this at the garage sale!" ...she is quite familiar with garage sales already, thanks to her mama. Then we watered flowers, and then I thought the weather was hot enough for a certain Flower to put her swimsuit on and play in a bucket of water, while I sat on the front porch with the laptop. As I tried to screen out how happy everyone else is that it's summer, the good things about summer came to mind: Slurpees, snowcones, Italian ice, and ice cream. That last one was in our freezer so I scooped a bowl for the both of us to eat on the front step. Norah was worn out after "swimming" and I am such a good mommy I let her wear her new (garage sale) princess dress for her rest time. And she fell fast asleep, happily ever after (they're the same thing, really).
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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. What I am trying to do is prepare for the worst thing I can imagine: that I don't get to have the big family I always wanted. I so badly want to accept that, but it really means burying my dream. Dying to self. Death hurts.
Accepting thoughts do occasionally occur to me. For instance, I was pondering - what if (buckle your seat belt, my imagination is taking the wheel) there is a person out there somewhere with whom I can connect because God has withheld from me? Just picturing an instance like that in my mind's eye is such a hopeful thing. That could be my eucatastrophe (wiki it).
5 comments:
Dearest Reagan,
It is so so lovely to hear of your doings and your comings and goings and, most precious of all, to share your thoughts! Thank you for sharing. I will be praying both that the Lord answers your longings for more children AND that you will be able to comfort others with the comfort you yourself have received. Lots of love, Dawn P.S. Wish I could buy a couple of baskets!!
I would LOVE to attend your farmers market! I would love to see your handiwork. Acceptance is a funny thing. Somedays I have it and other days I don't, but God is faithful to execute his plan for us. It's coming to terms with that which is difficult. Praying for you. Love your posts. Always.
Thank you both :) ...I finally uploaded a picture, Kim!
I love your boards! Do you have any in princess or fairy theme? I would love to have one for Ava's bedroom so she can display her art. We have a boring one in the kitchen for all of Eliah's school stuff..it's usually so full you can't see the background....but I'll bet Ava would love to have one of her very own.
Hmm, Katri... I'll have to see what I can dig up! ;)
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